Inspiration and Split Ends: Why A Year Without

Let me give you some background here.

I’m what you might call a “mixed chick”—a young woman who although is often assumed to be black, has the kind of hair and features that belie a complex ethnic background. Like many people of my complexion, I’m never quite sure what genetic soup led to my café au lait coloring, my vaguely European features, distinct lack of bootay, and high cheekbones, but the one thing I share with the rest of my ethnically-ambiguous tribe is hair that has its own will.

I have thick, dark hair that has roughly the same curl pattern that you see in packages of ramen noodles (a 3B according to NaturallyCurly.com, a website that offers support and advice to curly girls of all backgrounds). When curly, my hair frames my collar, but straight it falls past the shoulders. My mother, having to deal with her own nearly waist length hair, mine, and the perpetually growing hair of my older sister, resorted to chemical relaxers for manageability and her own sanity.

We relaxed my hair religiously for nearly 10 years, with me coming to accept the burning sensation, god awful smells, and scabs forming on my scalp as a matter of course. Wearing my hair curly never seemed like a legitimate option, as it was huge, and frankly not worth the day of untangling it would require afterwards.

I encountered a flat iron for the first time in middle school, a large ConAir device that had a little compartment to put water in on one end. It steamed my hair flat, and I found I could even bump the ends under with a little maneuvering. It singed my fingers, but I LOVED the way my hair looked. When I started my first job, I felt it was time to step up my game, so I started getting weekly Dominican blowouts. For the first time in my life, my hair was always smooth, straight, and manageable. Even relaxers hadn’t given me the style that the blow dryers and flat irons could, so I started skipping relaxers and invested the money instead in a $150 HerStyler.

I had brought the addiction home, and now I constantly ran the flat iron over my hair, determined daily to force any stray hair into submission. I even abandoned the blow dryer, preferring instead to let my hair air dry curly and then straightening it piece by piece, dedicating in some cases nearly ninety minutes to getting every hair, root to tip, perfectly smooth.

My hair has always been one of my vanities, but I craved the kind of freedom that came with being able to just jump in a pool or go to sleep without a clumsy wrap. I fell in love with hot yoga a few years ago, but after destroying my blowout in one class, I had to choose between my new hobby and my hair. And, well… I had to live with my hair.

So why no flat iron? Why now?

Well, for one thing, I started to notice that like any addict, I needed more and more for my fix, and I was beginning to see signs of abuse. The flat iron I had recently bought, a nearly $200 Sedu, was so hot that my ends were totally fried. From root to shaft, my hair looked great, but my ends were embarrassing.

For another, I just got tired. My hair was a constant concern, and when it wasn’t straight I found I was insecure. When it was straight, it was constantly dry. And given my ends, I never felt like putting in the hour or more (usually late night or early morning) it would take to get back my straight style.

Finally, I saw a picture of my cousin on Facebook (the greatest motivator). She had gone FOURTEEN MONTHS with no heat. It was beyond my reckoning. The transformation was stunning. I figured I could spend a year getting to know my hair, through trial and error as she had, and then worst case, I could rock my longer curls or even better, a Beyoncé-length blowout 🙂

There are four things I’m going to take on in this year-long experiment:

1. Finding the right cut.
A good haircut can make all the difference in the world, especially when you wear your hair out. Mine is cut in layers, since it worked with straight styles.

2. Finding the right tools.
I’m blown away by the number of styling tools out there, and I don’t understand any of them. I currently use a wooden paddle brush (hemorrhaging bristles) and a rat-tail comb. There are at least 30 other kinds of brushes. And I have NO idea what a diffuser is.

3. Finding the right style.
What ELSE do you do with curly hair? It’s all good if you’re walking the dog or hitting the gym, but what if you have to attend a gala or something and you don’t have a stylist?

4. Finding the right products.
To poo or not to poo? Which leave ins should I leave out? And are frizz-free products just the Tooth Fairy of the hair care world?

And well, of course— I’ll be flat-iron free all year.

Feel free to chime in with suggestions, products, and comments! And if you’d like to take on the challenge with me (curly girl or not!) say so!